Monk: As an elder millennial raised on Bill Simmons liveblogs in the early 2000’s, it’s hard to believe I haven’t done one myself on Barbecue Bros. What better reason to remedy that than to document my third whole hog cook, which I recently did in mid-October. And here we go…

9/29

Place an order for a 130 pound pig from Frontier Meats out of Waxhaw. They’ve been in business since 1975 and I’ve used them each of the now 3 times that I’ve cooked a pig. From my research, they have the best price per pound in the Charlotte area and their pigs are fresh and never frozen. They will butterfly and can remove the feet and head if you want. Highly recommend them.

10/10

Call Frontier Meats back and up the pig to 150 pounds because whoa, the guest list is now up to 340 total guests.

10/16

9:57 AM – Get a half cord of firewood delivered to the site where I’m cooking the pig. In terms of firewood, I’ve been happy with Quick’s Firewood out of Monroe for the three times I’ve cooked pigs as well as the times I’ve gotten firewood delivered for my fire pit. Plus, they deliver for free. T-minus 30 hours until the Pig Roast.

3:00 PM – Pick up the pig cooker from my neighbor Lawrence and set it up at my neighborhood pool. Lawrence has graciously allowed me to use it for no charge the past two years. It’s a beautiful BQ Grills trailer that he recently got repainted so it looks brand spanking new. He regularly lends out to his friends and local Boy Scout troops for their annual barbecue fundraisers, so I count myself fortunate to have access to a legit pig cooker.

Word on the street he may be restarting his Fire of Coals blog and web store later this year, so keep an eye out for that so you can support him. I’ve used his rubs in the past and I even bought my current burn barrel from him (which is how I first met him).

4:30 PM – Pick up the pig from Frontier, which is about a 50 minute drive on a Friday afternoon from my house in South Charlotte.

6:50 PM – Start the fire in the burn barrel on a toasty 80 degree night. My wife and youngest show up shortly after and then friends of the blog Z and Dabo arrive to hang out an hour or so later. The cook officially begins.

8:00 PM – With Mrs. Monk and two buddies, get the pig from the back of my wife’s SUV on to a tailgate table and then flip onto the grill. Quite impressive when you consider the various ailments between myself, Z, and Dabo (tennis elbow, bum shoulder, burnt hand).

8:20 PM – I shovel the first of many coals into the bottom chamber of the grill. The tunes and beers are flowing as more friends of the blog start to arrive. Matty Ice arrives and brings with him 4 bottles of very nice bottles of bourbon.

11:00 PM – A golf cart with more neighbors arrive just as the Appalachian State football game ends (W over Coastal Carolina) and all of a sudden we’ve got 15-20 of us hanging out by the pig. I now begin to worry that a nearby neighbor who likes to complain about noise will call the cops on us. Thankfully, my worries never materialize.

10/17

1:00 AM – People start to filter out but a few still remain to keep the party going. Whispers of late night Door Dashing begin.

1:30 AM – Z pulls the trigger on a McDonald’s order, reminiscent of last year’s 3 AM order. We eagerly anticipate our burgers…

2:00 AM – The McDonald’s arrives but immediately something is amiss. Two of our Big Macs have a combined one burger patty and we are missing a Cheeseburger. Epic fail by McDonald’s but don’t worry, Z is able to get a full refund.

2:45 AM – Z is the second to last to depart, leaving just me and Dabo. Dabo somehow convinces me to have one more beer before he is to leave.

3:20 AM – Dabo has departed and I climb into a sleeping bag on a camping mat in the back of my car to get a little nap before I add more coals. I add wood to the burn barrel and set an alarm.

4:30 AM – The overnight rain has started and I wake up to add more coals to the pig. I throw a few more logs into the burn barrel and head back to sleep.

5:30 AM – Rain continues and rinse/repeat with the coals and wood.

6:30 AM – I wake up to find that an angel has left me a Gatorade and bottle of water. That angel turns out to be Handsome Russell who checked on me at 6am and decided to let me sleep. However, the fire in the burn barrel is almost completely extinguished because of the rain, so I get to work to get the fire restarted. With a faint flicker amongst the wood, I decide to run to the nearby Harris Teeter to get a bag of charcoal and some fire starter.

6:45 AM – I return to find that the burn barrel has roared to life in my brief absence. We are so back!

7:30 AM – Handsome Russell arrives with a couple of clutch McDonald’s biscuits. I happily accept them. The rain is just about done and I get back to work.

8:30 AM – Tennis buddy Wally brings me some coffee and Bojangles and I count myself fortunate to have such nice people in my life. Here’s a few photos he snapped:

9:00 AM – But wait, there’s more! Friend of the blog Brafford comes to give me a chance to take a shower and also sleep in my own bed for a few hours. I get a couple of hours of sleep before I return right before noon to continue. Big ups to Brafford.

12:00 – 4:00 PM – I continue cooking the pig while starting to set up for the party, with the help of various folks.

4:05 PM – The pig is served until it runs out a little more than 2 hours later. People seem to be enjoying it along with the beautiful fall weather that came in on the back of the overnight storm as well as the 90’s and 2000’s jams from the cover band I hired for the party – 90’s Kids/Y2K Kids.

7:15 – 8:30 PM – Break down the party with the help of many others and head home.

8:45 PM – A celebratory glass of bourbon is in order.

9:30 PM – Crash for the next 12 hours and then finish cleaning and returning the trailer.

As always, there are lessons learned each time I cook another pig and this time was no different. I can’t wait to run it back next year!